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Writer's pictureRemi Pearson
Aug 8, 20193 min read

#PERSPECTIVES | One Shift to Achieve the Goals That Matter














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SHOW SUMMARY

If you have been wondering how you can start achieving the goals that matter, this episode of #Perspectives is for you. We have done something a little different for this episode, taking you straight into a training room with Sharon Pearson and a group of wonderful life coaches to explore why and how we set aspirational goals and the one shift it really takes to achieve them.


KEY TOPICS AND TIME STAMPS:


- 0.00 Why I don’t coach people on what they want first but secondary

  • Understanding that the goal we set and what we say we aspire to achieve isn’t our truth.

  • We set aspirational goals as a way to mask our current state.

  • We think we’re going to go for it consciously but unconsciously we have no intention of doing it. It’s a way of displacing our pain and shame of not living up to who we thought we’d be.


- 5.00 What I coach on now

  • I don’t coach on the goal someone wants to achieve; I coach on the truth of how they are hiding, who they’re not being, what they are missing about themselves.

  • I hope to recover who they’re meant to be and how they can grow and as they change their perception of themselves, they change their goal because their goal was a way of putting outside of ourselves if I get that then I’m okay.

  • What if we reverse it and coach people on how to be okay rather than how to achieve a goal to feel okay.


- 6.20 Reaching Goals isn’t about working harder it’s about changing your strategy

  • Start getting your mind working for you then ask yourself well now I know who I am and I love who I am what is it I’m really looking to create.


- 7.30 Ambition with meaning is misery

  • That’s why people keep pursuing the goal wondering if they’ll ever catch happiness and they never do because their strategy is wrong from the beginning.


- 7.58 Over Ambition and Under Ambition

  • Under Ambition is a sense of give-up-ness

  • When I coach someone and I see them flaking and being completely disconnected from even having a go, I’m seeing what I call give-up-ness

  • When I identify that I almost immediately know what happened in their past for them to have landed on that strategy


- 8.40 Example of Under Ambition

  • Someone in their 40’s who’s still under ambitious, easily lacks resilience, doesn’t push through, dresses poorly, doesn’t take care of themselves, has failed repeatedly to hold a job down, it’s always the bosses fault.

  • I know immediately that that’s a strategy they learned and perfected in childhood.

  • No one comes into life wanting to mess it all up. It’s painful to constantly have defeat and setbacks and never ever have a reason to feel different and freaky, that’s a painful way to live.

  • So I know at some point in childhood there was a trigger. From adults, caretaker, a ‘big person’ who has responsibility for caring for them did something, behaved a certain way, rewarded it, punished a certain behaviour. And that child has associated that reward and punishment to how they should behave. ‘Don't sine too much,’ ‘you’re a bit big for your boots there,’ ‘no one likes a smart girl’.

  • There is two ways to respond, over ambition or under ambition

  • You can’t keep coaching on goals and ignoring their under ambition as they will always default back to their under ambition never achieving those goals


- 12.45 I-Amness Traits

  • Traits we are often born with that we often grow out of by the time we reach adulthood. These include

  • Creativity

  • Resilience

  • Risk taking

  • Playfulness

  • Sense of humour

  • Lovingness

  • Intuition

  • Curiosity

  • Ask yourself, when was the last time you experienced these qualities

  • Observe if and when these qualities arise.


o 15.25 Example of an observable trait that we can use to understand why someone acts the way they do…

  • What qualities and aspects have been denied and conditioned to cause them to act in a certain way.



RESOURCES MENTIONED:




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